#18. Regulars who park in the visitor's parking space

You're a responsible Christian and in order to save the best parking spaces for the visitors, you park half a mile away from the church. Not only that, but every hike to church is an exercise in faith. You must carry your Bible, notepad, and your wife's too. (Assuming she's carrying your newest born baby) You must also juggle all these articles, as you try to waive politely to all the other fathers doing the same thing. It's a tough job.

Finally, you make it to the front of the church and what do you see? Oh well, the guy who has been sitting next you in church for the past five years parked in the visitor's space. Oh and guess what, he's been doing it for the past 5 weeks. Now you're really angry but you're thankful you're carrying Bibles and notepads instead of a baby.

So what do you do about this? I offer some suggestions:

1. Subtle confrontation

At first, just be nice to your friend Tom. Maybe he's been having a rough five weeks and parking close to church is his only consolation. Never underestimate the power of proximity to a church in relation to the trajectory of a vehicle. Anyway, while you're sitting down just lean in close and whisper, "Tom, you better be having some emotional problem that makes you wanna park in the visitor's spot. We're watching you." And then smile, that's it.

2. Usurpation

If Tom continues to do the same thing, then the following Sunday you take his favorite chair in church. I know, I know. We're not supposed to practice an "eye for an eye," but dear Tom is pushing it.

3. Throwback

Finally, if by those two clear steps Tom doesn't get the message, then you must take it back old school. The following Sunday you arrive earlier than Tom and you lay down on the pavement of the visitor's parking lot. And you stay there all day until the service starts. Hey, that's how they did it in the 60s. Peace and love dude. Peace and love.