#12. Admitting you like Harry Potter

This also applies if you have children who like Harry Potter. If you say that in a church meeting, you might have well said that you bow down to idols as you listen to heavy metal, while your Gothic girlfriend is applying more black nail polish.

No, but seriously, admitting you like Harry Potter is a big deal. I'm not saying that there isn't any questionable content that deals with black magic, but there are more serious issues affecting children today. And if your kids want to read Harry Potter, I believe you should warn them about your concerns, but you should allow them.

I spoke to someone recently who said that the only reason she read Harry Potter is because her parents and church didn't want her too. And guess what? She turned out just fine and recently visited the Harry Potter World in Orlando, Fl.

And yes, I plan on going soon!

#11. Conservative-looking Worship Leaders

Does your worship leader still wear a tie and a buttoned-up shirt? If the answer is yes, then it was a trick question because he's not your worship leader anymore. No way, not looking like that. Nowadays, the lead singer must look as metrosexual as possible.

He needs to wear skinny jeans, a pair of polka dots vans and his hair must have more gel than all the makeup Lady Gaga wears on one side of her face. If he has all that, then he is ready to lead us to an experience of worship like never before.

Oh, and let's not forget the V-neck shirt. That's a must. I'm sure you can find it on the book of Leviticus.

#10. Prayer Meetings

Face it, if there's a bake drive, a call to join a church softball team, you'll be the first one to join. Who can deny delicious cookies and underarm throwing?

But now, if the pastor calls for a prayer meeting, then you'll disappear faster than a chocolate bar outside of an elementary school. See, it's really hard for us to commit to a Saturday morning prayer meeting. Unless, of course, you're that old lady that's always in church. You know who she is, she sits in the front row and once in a while stands in a corner to pray.

But the rest of us have a hard time getting up early on a Saturday morning to spend time with God. And that's something we need to change.

#9. Churches that sound like...churches

If your church is named something like "Holy Trinity" or something biblical like that, then you're so 90s. Get with the program, dude.

We like churches that sound like a clothing store you find at the local mall. We go for things like, "The Meet" or "The Wall," or "Revolution." Also, anything that sounds like what could be a drink from Starbucks is accepted. "The Flood," for instance.

All I'm saying is, what happened to biblical sounding churches?

#8. Missing the blessing

Think of the most awful abomination. Got it? Well, if you thought not being told "bless you" after you sneeze, then you're correct. As believers, we don't want to miss any kind of blessing just to be on the safe side. So if you sneeze, you expect a "God bless you" or at least a "bless you" from the less religious.

If they go unnoticed, some people will fake sneeze a couple of times to make sure they get their blessing. It's the equivalent of clearing your throat to make a point.

So, please, if you hear a brother or sister sneeze, don't steal their blessing.

#7. Halloween

How do you stop kids from going around asking for candy? I mean, it's free candy. That's a pretty good deal. Now, there are many reasons both to support and to denounce Halloween, but on the majority, most Christians just try and pretend the day doesn't exist.

"What's that son? Oh no, October only has 30 days."

Okay, perhaps it's not that drastic, but you know what I mean. However, there's a small camp that is rising up to the challenge. What are they doing? Well, on the same day as Halloween these churches are having something called, October Fest or Fall Fest. And yes, you can go dressed up in costumes and you also get candy.

Hmm, October 31, costumes and candy...Fall Fest? I think not.

Look if you don't want to celebrate Halloween that's fine, but don't try and come up with a fake activity to disguise your love for candy. Just be real man, be real.

#6. Smokeless Youth Events

No one knows exactly when it happened, but at some point, there was a nationwide secret meeting with all the youth pastors. In this meeting they decided that every youth service was lacking something of extreme importance. No, it wasn't more biblical teaching, and not even more youth-related topics.

What was needed was one thing and one thing only: a smoke machine.

Okay, perhaps that meeting never happened, but the smoke machines came and they were heavily used, and still are. In one service I went to some years ago, there was so much smoke in the altar that I could barely make out the youth leader. All I could see was one little arm being waved up and down. I assumed he was trying to hype up the crowd, but now I think he was asking for help.

The only cool thing was that I was expecting the Smoke Monster from LOST to show up at any moment. Now, that would have been a memorable service!

#5. CNN

Doesn't CNN stand for Communist National Network? No? Well it certainly should. At least that's how we see it. Anything CNN says must be screened against whatever Fox news reporters have to say. And how can we trust Anderson Cooper with that perfectly white hair? There's no way he can keep that hair so white without any demonic powers. There's something going on there.

What do you think of CNN? Can it be trusted? And if you say it can be, then please explain Cooper's hair.

#4. When other Christians try to evangelize you

You're in Walmart doing some holiday shopping, just trying to get your things and get out, when someone makes eye contact with you. And then that person approaches you, and without any hesitation, they give you a fake $10 bill with a Gospel tract on it.

Yup, that just happened! Someone tried to evangelize you! You, out of all people who were born and raised in the church, maybe you're even a pastor!

Right now you're embarrassed and tell the guy, "hey, I'm on your side brother." And then he's even more embarrassed for trying to convert you.

Maybe we should come up with some secret hand shake or gesture, kind of like the Masons. Or just a slight fist pump in the air, something that would avoid the confrontation with a possible Christian evangelist. And while we're on the subject, evangelizing is a great thing, and we should all be doing it. And this is why we need some sort of signal, to keep our precious tracts in the right hands.

#3. Jehovah's Witnesses Knocking at Your Door

The "Email Surveillance" episode of The Office opens with a man in a turban making his way up to the office. Michael Scott, the manager, freaks out:

Michael: Alright everybody, lock the doors, turn off the lights. Pretend you're not here.
Jim: Are we in danger?
Michael: There's no time to think about it. This is real! Just shh, everybody.

And that's pretty much how we treat Jehovah's Witnesses when they approach our doors, as if a presumed terrorist is coming over to ask us to borrow some sugar. Granted, I know sometimes the JW's come a little early, but they mean well. They're just misguided. Maybe, just maybe a Christian can schedule a meeting with them and share the Gospel.

Of course, if you are going to share the gospel, please study the Word. Make sure you know which points the JW's stumble upon so you can correct the error of their ways, with love, of course.

And please, please, don't answer your door with a bad attitude, or with a super soaker water gun. Thank you.

#2. Talking about politics

You're having dinner with the family and a few close friends and everything is going well. That is until someone mentions the one thing that no Christian family ever discusses. If you guessed politics, then you are correct!

For some reason, any topic is welcomed at the dinner table, except for that of your political affiliation. Want to become member of a cult that only wears Snuggies and drinks hot tea with biscuits? That's fine, we can talk about it. But do not dare to bring up the subject of politics! Democrat, Republican, we don't care. Talk to us about some more cults or something.

This of course is ironic, since we live in a very political society and the Bible itself is filled with governors, emperors, kings and kingdoms.

Why do you think we avoid the topic?

#1. Really Long Sermons

Okay, before you begin your judgment, or saying, "you're just ripping off Stuff Christians Like," let me just say that yes, I am. The same way SCL started as a spin off of Stuff White People Like, I'm starting this blog with the same concept. Except, of course, this is about stuff that Christians don't like.

For instance, there's really long sermons. Once 11 o'clock hits, your body almost automatically jolts out of the seat. It's like someone lit your chair on fire (Pastors you may prepare a sermon on the lake of fire and leaving church early). Even the friend you dragged to church is confused by your automated convulsion.

"And now we'll dwell deep in to the Greek text," by that line, you're dwelling deep in your mini-van already. Your friend may not make it with you. Hey, but that's understandable. Some get left behind!