#45. Rob Bell

Unless you've been living under a meteorite, or were stuck in a bunker like that movie Blast from the Past, then you've heard about the Rob Bell controversy. With all that stuff out there in the blogger world, I figure that you should know the real reason why we don't like Rob Bell.

First, let's look at three reasons that we don't really mind about him:

1. He looks that annoying guy from the Verizon Wireless commercials.

Almost like twin brothers, eh? The only reason that guy never got punched in the face is because he was wearing glasses. But I'm willing to bet he got close a couple of times. The first time we saw that commercial, it was kind of funny. But by the hundredth time, it was tired and very irritating. So yeah, the Verizon guy is annoying but that's not Rob Bell's fault.


2. The way he writes

Just because,

Rob Bell writes

like this

with very short lines

and no real paragraph breaks

doesn't mean

that we don't like him.


3. His Nooma videos

Sure, the first couple of Nooma videos were different, they were cool; they were post-modern! But after a while, Bell's metaphors got more and more complicated and he would get "revelation" out anything. Is that an old record player in the corner and a picture of a clown hanging on a wall? Don't worry, Rob Bell will teach you something from there. Seriously, dude, come on. But even that, we forgave.


Why then don't we like him?

Simply put, in his new book, he claims that people get a chance to be saved after they die and that there really is no hell, that everyone gets into heaven. Not only is this doctrine false and deadly, its logic implies that Jesus died in vain. That's why we don't like Rob Bell. Unless he repents and changes his view and accepts the Jesus of the Bible, he is a false teacher.

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Credits go to my wife, Mrs. Fakuff, for the picture montage.