Your pastor asks you to turn to the book of Obadiah, but you're not even sure if he's being serious. Did someone just add a new book last year? Is there like a remix version? But alas, he is not kidding. So what do you do? Naturally, you turn to your Table of Contents. Bad move, bad move young one.
The person next to you shakes her head in dissapointment. She whispers something to the person next to her. They both laugh and look in your general direction. That's right, you have been judged because you turned over to the table of contents in your Bible. What do you do? Fortunately, I have some suggestions for you.
What not to do
-Don't say, "I can find the book of Psalms without looking!" Anyone can find the book of Psalms. It is conveniently located in the middle of the Bible and it has a lot of chapters, so all you have to do is open up your Bible to get there. Even a caveman can do it (If they were able to read and had a Bible).
-Don't quote sayings that sound biblical but are not. Example, don't say, "I love it when the Bible says, 'God helps those who help themselves.'" Not only does the Bible not say that, but you may encounter some theological discussions in your path.
What to do
-Memorize every book of the Bible. That's right, the entire thing. Other people may memorize verses, but you my friend, you will know where every book is located, page number and everything!
-Tell them that you went Dead Poets Society on them! You completely ripped out the entire table of contents of your Bible. You don't care for it! As Mr. Keating would say, "Be gone J. Evans Pritchard, Ph.D. Rip, shred, tear, rip it out!"
That was an awesome movie, wasn't it? Anyway, have you ever used the Table of Contents? Have you felt judged? Have you judged someone else?
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