#65. Mel Gibson: It's complicated

The relationship between Christian opinion and Mel Gibson has been interesting. If this was a Facebook relationship status, it would be a permanent, "it's complicated." Here's a list of the pivotal times when we loved Mel and when we rather he stay away.

• Braveheart: The story of a warrior fighting injustice and paying the ultimate sacrifice? Action and honor. Yeah, we'll take that. LOVE MEL.
• Passion of the Christ: Though controversial, this movie served as a witnessing tool for possibly millions worldwide. LOVE MEL.
• Drunk Driving: Remember the horrible mugshot? And oh yeah, he went on a rant blaming the Jewish people for all the wars in the world. STAY AWAY MEL.
• Apocalypto: A violent movie, yes, but really entertaining and non-stop action. LOVE MEL.
• Girlfiend Fiasco: After divorcing his wife and getting his girlfriend pregnant, he then strikes his girlfriend and leaves obscene messages on her phone. STAY AWAY MEL.

As you can see, our relationship with Mel hasn't been easy. Like us, he needs the grace and strength that comes from God. Let's hope that he makes a come back and we can finally change our status to, "Married."

#64. Being judged for celebrating Halloween

There's always that one Facebook friend that puts a video or a status saying that those who celebrate Halloween are devil worshippers.

Really? My eight year old cousin, dressed as Tinkerbell, is worshipping Satan?

Dude, you must chill. True, Halloween has pagan roots, but guess what? There are no Christmas trees in the Bible. And oh yeah, Jesus wasn't born on December 25th. That day actually has pagan roots, too.

So, what are you going to do? Are you going to boycott all "commercial" holidays and enclose yourself in a shell of self-righteousness? Or are you going to celebrate those holidays in ways that honor and glorify God?

Wake up and eat some candy.

#63. DTR and other acronyms

Sometime ago, my wife and I were watching an episode of Friends and one of the issues afflicting someone in the cast (Ross, to be exact) was having to "define the relationship" with a girlfriend of his, or DTR, as my wife informed it is known in the Christian circles.

Since I didn't grow up as a Christian (As a good Cuban, I was raised Catholic), I had no idea of such an acronym. In light of that, I think we should come up with some new ones.

AWIAR? - Are We In A Relationship?

OWLM - Our Worship Leader is a Metrosexual

MPBY - My Pastor is Better than Yours

DBD - Dan Brown is the Devil

BYOB - Bring Your Own Bible

Can you think of anymore?

Another update

Hi there, you may have noticed that I haven't posted in a while. I apologize for that. Honestly, it's been lack of time. I've got another blog and I'm also working on a book, plus I also write devotionals for my church.

Anyhow, if you have any ideas you would like me to write about, please don't be shy and submit them. Thanks!

#62. Prosperity Gospel Teachers, a secret document

In one way or another, I have spoken about prosperity teachers in many other blog entries. My verdict? They preach a false gospel that cheapens the true gospel of redemption and salvation of our souls. Furthermore, I don't understand how can someone read the Bible and really think that the whole point is that God wants us to be rich and live comfortable lives. How does that happen?

Fortunately for you, I've found a secret document used by some of those prosperity teachers. Some of the verses and characters have changed:

1-Suffering and Persecution
Whenever the word suffering appears in the Bible, it should be read as "enjoy." Likewise, when the word "persecution" appears, it should be read as "a spanking new mansion." So for instance, when the Bible says, "Everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution." In the prosperity gospel it means, "Everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ will enjoy a spanking new mansion."

2-Moses
According to the secret document, Moses kept all his riches from when he was in Egypt and this is why his face was shining most of the time. He was mad at the creation of the golden calf because Aaron and his crew had stolen Moses' Egyptian loot.

3-Abundant life
The word abundant no longer means "full," as in full of trials and suffering and all things in this life both band and good. No sir, "abundant" now means, "A Mercedes Benz and some bling on my wrist."

4-MTV Cribs
When Jesus said that He had nowhere to rest his head, he didn't mean that he didn't have a home. In fact, God wants you to have many homes, the more the better! What he meant was that he had so many houses under his name, that he didn't know which one to go to. It can be a daunting task to decide. Pray.

5-You'll always be healthy
According to the document, you are supposed to always be healthy. Jesus healed all the people who asked him to. He even raised Lazarus from the dead! And since the logic follows that believers NEVER get sick, it is rumored that Lazarus is still alive and hiding. He may be in Pakistan in a house near a military base.


What else do you think this document said? You might know more than you think!

#61. When worship leaders leave the church and the pastors ignore it

Remember that guy that had the voice of an angel and the looks of a mix between Sting and Lady Gaga? Remember him? He was your worship leader for 5 years, but then one Sunday, he wasn't there. And then he wasn't there anymore.

Of course, you expect your pastor to acknowledge this and explain what happened, but nothing. He acts like the tone deaf lady who's now in charge of worship was there all along. So where does that leave you? Well, all you can do is wonder. Here are some possibilities as to what happened to your former worship leader. Of course, we would never think he left because he was offered more money by another church, or because he had a disagreement with the pastor. No, we'll think holier things.

Solving the mystery

1-He got carried to heaven a-la-Elijah. If so, make sure to get dibs on the mantle, or in his case the microphone.
2-He felt called to simpler things and now plays an ukulele with an unreached "tribe" in Hawaii.
3-He's auditioning for American Idol, and that way you can get excited for a "real" Christian on the show.
4-He's in a monastery somewhere in the Fij ilands.
5-He committed to a one year vow of silence.
6-He stopped buying and using a gallon of hair products and now sends all his money to charity.
7-He got married and has 17 kids who take all of his time.

Has this happened to you? Has a church leader left unexpectedly and your pastors never brought it up?

#60. Non-Christian email addresses

I have a non-Christian email address, so it's possible that many of you hate me right now. I'm sorry. What does it mean to have a Christian sounding email address? Here are some examples below:

1.Redeemed4Real
This is a great example of a saved email address. There's the clear mention of redemption and just in case someone had doubts, there's the "4Real" part. By using the "4" you're also showing that you're very much hip and relevant.

2-WWJDWAEA
This translates to, What Would Jesus Do With An Email Address. It's kind of a hassle to give your email address to someone, but that only makes you look holier. Good job.

3-Halleluyers45
This is more for the urban crowd of believers. By adding your favorite number, you are personalizing your ghetto praises. Fantastic.

Okay, but seriously, it doesn't really matter what your email address is, unless of course you use a curse word or something like that. An email address does not relate at all to your spiritual standing in the eyes of God. So please, stop hating me for having a regular email address.