#68. Your anointed friend

Have you ever met someone who overused the word "anointed?"

Examples:

"That preaching was anointed."

"That preacher was anointed."

"That preacher preaching was anointed."

You get the idea.

I knew a guy once who told me that a certain girl had a crush on him because of how anointed he was. Years later, that guy is still the only single one in the whole group of friends. Maybe he needs more anointment.

#67. Being the First Person to Get the Offering Basket

The week that you're broke, or the week you went to the evening service the day before, you happen to sit on the first row of your aisle.  Moments later, the announcer prays for the offerings that are about to be received and you panic. You look down the row and there are at least 10 people there, including your friend who loves tithing so much he promised 10 percent of his children's time in the future to the church.

What do you do?

You can't refuse the offering basket. You can't hide your hands inside your shirt and pretend you were born that way because no one saw your Bible just float next to you.

So, you take the offering basket, pass the empty thing to the person next to you and watch your friend shake his head at you. For shame.

#66. Your Pretentious *Missionary Friend

We love missionaries. They do a tough and wonderful job to spread the gospel to the farthest corners of the earth (unless you're a missionary in Hawaii, in which case we may not like you so much).

But have you ever met a friend who was on a missions trip for a week and now pretends to be an expert in Guatemala? Your friend will not only throw in random Spanish words in conversation with you, but he will also keep referring to everyone as "You Americans."

Ever met a guy or girl like this?

#65. Mel Gibson: It's complicated

The relationship between Christian opinion and Mel Gibson has been interesting. If this was a Facebook relationship status, it would be a permanent, "it's complicated." Here's a list of the pivotal times when we loved Mel and when we rather he stay away.

• Braveheart: The story of a warrior fighting injustice and paying the ultimate sacrifice? Action and honor. Yeah, we'll take that. LOVE MEL.
• Passion of the Christ: Though controversial, this movie served as a witnessing tool for possibly millions worldwide. LOVE MEL.
• Drunk Driving: Remember the horrible mugshot? And oh yeah, he went on a rant blaming the Jewish people for all the wars in the world. STAY AWAY MEL.
• Apocalypto: A violent movie, yes, but really entertaining and non-stop action. LOVE MEL.
• Girlfiend Fiasco: After divorcing his wife and getting his girlfriend pregnant, he then strikes his girlfriend and leaves obscene messages on her phone. STAY AWAY MEL.

As you can see, our relationship with Mel hasn't been easy. Like us, he needs the grace and strength that comes from God. Let's hope that he makes a come back and we can finally change our status to, "Married."

#64. Being judged for celebrating Halloween

There's always that one Facebook friend that puts a video or a status saying that those who celebrate Halloween are devil worshippers.

Really? My eight year old cousin, dressed as Tinkerbell, is worshipping Satan?

Dude, you must chill. True, Halloween has pagan roots, but guess what? There are no Christmas trees in the Bible. And oh yeah, Jesus wasn't born on December 25th. That day actually has pagan roots, too.

So, what are you going to do? Are you going to boycott all "commercial" holidays and enclose yourself in a shell of self-righteousness? Or are you going to celebrate those holidays in ways that honor and glorify God?

Wake up and eat some candy.

#63. DTR and other acronyms

Sometime ago, my wife and I were watching an episode of Friends and one of the issues afflicting someone in the cast (Ross, to be exact) was having to "define the relationship" with a girlfriend of his, or DTR, as my wife informed it is known in the Christian circles.

Since I didn't grow up as a Christian (As a good Cuban, I was raised Catholic), I had no idea of such an acronym. In light of that, I think we should come up with some new ones.

AWIAR? - Are We In A Relationship?

OWLM - Our Worship Leader is a Metrosexual

MPBY - My Pastor is Better than Yours

DBD - Dan Brown is the Devil

BYOB - Bring Your Own Bible

Can you think of anymore?

Another update

Hi there, you may have noticed that I haven't posted in a while. I apologize for that. Honestly, it's been lack of time. I've got another blog and I'm also working on a book, plus I also write devotionals for my church.

Anyhow, if you have any ideas you would like me to write about, please don't be shy and submit them. Thanks!