#67. Being the First Person to Get the Offering Basket

The week that you're broke, or the week you went to the evening service the day before, you happen to sit on the first row of your aisle.  Moments later, the announcer prays for the offerings that are about to be received and you panic. You look down the row and there are at least 10 people there, including your friend who loves tithing so much he promised 10 percent of his children's time in the future to the church.

What do you do?

You can't refuse the offering basket. You can't hide your hands inside your shirt and pretend you were born that way because no one saw your Bible just float next to you.

So, you take the offering basket, pass the empty thing to the person next to you and watch your friend shake his head at you. For shame.

#66. Your Pretentious *Missionary Friend

We love missionaries. They do a tough and wonderful job to spread the gospel to the farthest corners of the earth (unless you're a missionary in Hawaii, in which case we may not like you so much).

But have you ever met a friend who was on a missions trip for a week and now pretends to be an expert in Guatemala? Your friend will not only throw in random Spanish words in conversation with you, but he will also keep referring to everyone as "You Americans."

Ever met a guy or girl like this?